” He was no more than a baby then,Well he seemed broken hearted,Something within him, But the moment that I first laid Eyes on him all alone, On the edge of seventeen”

Yeah, I thought about the ultimate Cougar anthem, Mrs. Robinson, but could truly not find anything to do with, well, being an actual Cougar…. Welcome to the blog post about fucking someone you could’ve given birth to….

CB was a right swipe and a match, that was also 19 years younger. We chatted and decided to meet up. He was a frat boy home to visit and do an internship for the summer. I was super surprised that he met all criteria and seemed quite mature for his age.

The first night was fun. We drank and ended up having okay sex.  To prepare for the second time, homeboy must have ended up taking notes after a pornhub premium subscription. He still did not know exactly what to do but came much closer, and then did the exact thing most men won’t do in bed, he LISTENED……….. and much to our suprise………..SPLOOOOSSHHH…. Niagara Falls. There’s nothing that turns a man on more than a squirter.  Imagine being a 22-year-old and realizing you can make a woman do that. So, you’re welcome CB. I have officially changed your game and your sex life for the rest of your life. (On a side note, I may get to find out. On our third and final time, he mentioned that we should do this every five years or so).

The final time of this fling was in early August right after he went back to school. He came home one weekend JUST to see me. I’m talking four or five-hour drive here.  The text I received said “I’m home, lemme know if you tryna hang tonight.” To which I replied, “English please, I don’t speak millennial.”  The sex was pretty great that last time, but I could tell he’d definitely been around the frat house. We could not hold a conversation. I kissed him bye before I left and told him it would be the last time, but this is one hookup I’m sure will be imprinted in each of our minds forever. Cheers to discovering new firsts in your forties.

On another note, when I started this entry earlier, I sent a Snapchat since I was just curious how he was doing.  His senior year is going great, he’s still being a fuckboi, and wonders what I’m doing over Thanksgiving week……………………………


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