…..I Want You to Want Me


Why do we as women crave the attention of men? (See Cheap Trick-I Want You to Want Me).  I had a lunch date with a guy I knew I was not going to be attracted to (gut feeling).  Even by text and pictures. But I went because I don’t have anyone else going on right now. (Technically, Lorna and I are on a break from dating-more on that later).  I got to the bar and greeted me and had a glass of wine waiting for me. The date was pleasant enough once the wine dulled the fact that he had a very effeminate way of speaking. (Friends, this is the second time this has happened by the way.  The first I still wonder if he really did speak with that certain inflection or if it’s because right before I went Lorna informed me he looked like Lance Bass).  He walked me out to the car and it was confirmed to me if not to him– He’s gay! Gaydar sirens were going off all around my head. At one point I think I moved over to the other side of the road while I was walking with him to let the flashing lights and sounds go by.   He kissed me and it was like nothing.  I immediately got in the car and texted celebrity look alike “I had a lunch date. He’s gay. I give up on dating. I’m just calling you when I need someone to fuck.” (I then felt terrible later because that was a terrible thing. I pretty much called him a piece of ass.)

But to go back to my point: I felt no sparks. I think he’s batting for the wrong team.  So why did it bother me when I received a text later that night from him saying “Hey, thanks for today. I’m sorry but I was expecting there to be more sparks than there were.”  To which I replied “I agree but thanks for the message”   Why did I care? I certainly am supposed to be new age where what a guy thinks of me shouldn’t matter.

That’s the peril of serial dating. The shit starts getting in your head and you begin to question yourself .  Especially when you’re rejected four times in a week. My honorable mention for this week is:

The couple:  Why not try a threesome? Should be on everyone’s bucket list right? Met a guy (super cute) along with his wife (Plain Jane). They wanted to take me to a sex club where apparently swingers frequent, people walk around naked, there’s porn in the playing on background screens. Ummm… how about lets start with a drink? The night ended early, was super awkward,  and I hit a new mark. I got turned down by a couple.  (Oh, since the night ended early–got in the car and texted celebrity look alike. He turned the night around)

This lesson: Call your girlfriends. They will always confirm it’s not you, it’s them. And ladies, bullshit yourself all you want, but sometimes we need that validation. Fuck the inspirational advice from The Help “You is kind, you is smart, you is important” . Keep it real “Bitch you is sexy, you is smart, you has a vibrator in your nightstand drawer that you’re not expecting to call you the next day.”

–Always, Ellie


  1. soni · November 22, 2017

    Funny !!


  2. Sanjana · December 6, 2017

    very interesting


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